Hungriness

Is it a word? Well I am suffering from it RIGHT NOW. Oh god, I need some food! I did not eat a thing and that is because I overslept. Is that a word either? I recogn my english could use an update. Well that’s fortunate! I am going to study english next year! Hopefully I’m going to, at least. Therefore I’ll get my exam results this wednesday..

Let’s talk about something else. I think by blog is boring and it needs one subject. Well, I don’t know. I just write what I like to write about. I even started an other blog! I think that ones better, although I do not have any followers there. I like the stuff you wright though, I read yer articles every day every night every second every time. Yes. Goodbye now, over and out.

Advertisements

Could you?

Hold my glass of rum and I’ll show you why my unfortunate events may be fortunate. As well as my son -soon to be king elsewhere- I look into the hourglass of that crazy thing ‘life’. Drunk as sheep, but wise as a child.

Tagged , , , , , ,

Quite Incoffeeniently

Y’all are familiar with the ‘stuck in a cup handle’ situation? I show you mine and the situation afterwards.

Stuck in a cup.

Stuck in a cup.

Getting the coffee out of my shirt.

Getting the coffee out of my shirt.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Like David and Goliath

Yesterday, afternoon, from 1.30 till 4.30 AM I’ve had another chance for success. Therefore I failed my exams, now I had to re-do one.

There’s a slight possibility I fucked things up. So therefore I have to hang around for another year on that horrific ‘school’ of mine. That is not a certainty though! The 27th of June I’ll get a phonecall and hopefully there’s this voice saying: ‘…seven days…’

Lol of course not. Let’s hope they’ll give me a call, telling me I graduated! I’d feel like David, conqueror of the giant Goliath!

Most Unfortunate

20120618-104254.jpg

Dear reader,

The most unfortunate event happened to me, so if you don’t want to read something terrible, then quickly walk away now.

Tomorrow I have an exam, it is upmost important I do not fail this test. Or else I will be trapped on that horrific school for another year!
I will get to the point now, so eat your cookie or drink your tea because you will not have the time to do so, after I told you this story of mine. Don’t ask why.

I woke up this morning feeling terribly sore and I happened to be hooked up with a headache. Yes. And not just one ordinary headache, it was –or is at the moment– the most monsterous big fat headache I’ve ever had during my entire life. So I’m now utterly anxious about tomorrow…

Now playing ‘Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive’ like one possessed.

Tagged , , , , , ,

Burn After Reading

20120617-194459.jpg

Can I trust you a secret? It is upmost necessary to destroy this message after reading! If not, the queen will find out. God knows what kind of punishment I will endure by then. Brace yourself! It is not the average secret you will get to know so please read carefully, therefore I will wright it down only once.

Recently, on a warm spring day, no one was at home. I took the cookie jar and ate all of the cookies!
Now then, you know my secret. Thank you for reading, I had to tell it someone else.. I feel much better now.

Take care of yourself.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Girls Fart Too.

YES! It is a very controversial, shocking fact gents! Girls fart too!
When I was younger than a youngster I thought girls never ever would do something like farting or burping.

But suddenly, that one day, I saw this be-a-u-tiful girl sitting in a corner of a nice little restaurant. As she romantically ate her soup and gently moved her silver spoon to her soft red lips, she paused for one moment. All of a sudden she lifted her right bottom and she farted. Just like that! Yes…just like that… My whole girls-are-perfect-in-every-way-picture was destroyed. But nonetheless I fart too. So who cares?

Well I did.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Posh Paper And A Paradisely Fart.

Hello. Yes, hello.

Sometimes I wonder who I have to thank for my life. Of course my mom and dad, obviously. But who began this whole mankindly thingy? Right now, I feel like I am committing heresy. But lucky me, we ain’t living in the Dark Ages, it’s modern time now baby!

Wouldn’t it be nice if God, Mother Earth, Allah, Buddha, or some other earth-making holy creator had a postal adress? Just to send a wish to or maybe even a complaint. People could write all of their sins and lawless acts right down on a piece of paper and send it directly to their maker. Hopefully the ones above have enough employees to process all the letters…

All of a sudden, you get a letter back! Beautiful gold written handwriting, posh paper made by angles and a heavenly good smell attached – probably a paradisely fart – to the paper. It says:

Dear one. God is busy right now taking care of the soldiers who are making a useless war, once again. Please hang on. When war is over, He’ll take care of you. In the meantime, good luck with your shitty life.

Not very much you hoped for, isn’t it? Well that’s because mostly you have to solve your own problems. It only makes you stronger. But when you can’t do it alone, don’t be afraid to ask others. Therefore, there will be always help offered by your loved ones.

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

That Almost Unbelievable Story

500 Days of Summer

The other day, I was walking through the mall. It was a normal day. The busdriver was late, as usual. The sailor lost his boat, as usual. The old lady next to the entry ate her teaspoon, as usual. As I said, it was a perfectly normal day…

In the mall, there was this bomb and I was the one who had to disable it. Who do you think I am? I don’t know how to do that! So I asked Bono how to disable an atomic bomb. Before he gave answer, this blond girl was trying to disable it… So I pushed her away! ‘Hit me baby, one more time!’ said Britney, the blond girl.

Before I was tempted to do so, I was distracted by this strange elve. He told me that the hobbits were taken to Isengard. So the next thing I definitely had to do was to go to the Quidditch finals with Ron and Albus Dumbledore.

But that evening, the strangest thing happened to me! While I was walking down the aisle and the way back, I figured it all out! Aristotle was not Belgian! The central message of Buddhism is not ‘every man for himself.’ And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes! So I told the misformed boy and he began to cry, I asked: ‘Why does it cry, Sméagol?’

Sticks and stones, love.

Tagged , , , , ,

Husslin’ Democracy

I Watch You Very Closely

Hello you! Let’s take a fine look at our modern society!

Do you think we are hussling big? Like: who invented this peace, the working machine or call it the serene society? Who did this? Here’s yer answer: We, The People…

There have been many sorts of governments and we ended up with democracy, but is this definitely the best sort? Sir Winston Churchill explains:

Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

Do you think democracy is the best form of government?

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements